Today was one of those days when my heart felt like it was breaking all over again over the loss of our babies. Sorrow and grief are strange emotions, in that they can come and go with such an intensity - for what may seem like no reason.
One of the things that is hard in losing an unborn baby, is that you don't really have anything to remember them by. This may sound odd...I guess what I mean is that when I am feeling sad and missing my uncle who has passed, I can remember what he looked like, the way he would rub my ears, or his pet name for me. But with someone you have never met, there is a certain lonely longing or emptiness because of the lack of memories.
There are a couple of ways that I try to remember my lost babies by: With the baby that I lost in March, I have an ultrasound picture...My sister gave me a lovely figurine of a mother holding a tiny baby, the statue is all white with no facial features, it sits on my vanity...There is a song called "Glory Baby" by a Christian group named Watermark, that is about losing an unborn baby, which I like to listen to.
On days like these, I find myself looking to God for comfort and healing that I know only He can provide. Drawing near to the Lord through prayer and scripture, I find myself thanking Him for what He has blessed me with and becoming hopeful again.
by Watermark
Glory baby you slipped away as fast as we could say baby…baby..
You were growing, what happened dear?
You disappeared on us baby…baby..
Heaven will hold you before we do
Heaven will keep you safe until we’re home with you…
Until we’re home with you…
Miss you everyday
Miss you in every way
But we know there’s a
day when we will hold you
We will hold you
You’ll kiss our tears away
When we’re home to stay
Can’t wait for the day when we will see you
We will see you
But baby let sweet Jesus hold you
‘till mom and dad can hold you…
You’ll just have heaven before we do
You’ll just have heaven before we do
Sweet little babies, it’s hard to
understand it ‘cause we’re hurting
We are hurting
But there is healing
And we know we’re stronger people through the growing
And in knowing-
That all things work together for our good
And God works His purposes just like He said He would…
Just like He said He would… I can’t imagine heaven’s lullabies
and what they must sound like
But I will rest in knowing,
heaven is your home
And it’s all you’ll ever know…all you’ll ever know…
